Pictures

Okay so I think im going to try something to get me to post everyday. So im going to take pictures. This was from a few days ago but pretty nonetheless. So enjoy the sunset. The earth is beautiful.

Inside

I hate feeling alone. Because its times like these that makes you wonder if anyone else would notice if you were gone. Its times like these that make you wonder if those pills on the table would make the hurt go away. It makes you wonder if there's anyone that really cares. Tonight I am alone with only my thoughts, and they haunt me. My mind is my own worst enemy. The things I think to myself do not compare to the biggest bite that any person can take out of me. My inner demons thrash, and they gnaw at my insides. I destroy myself from within, that is why I require the help of others, the flesh of others. Because I am alone in my head.

Stand still

I feel like not much has changed within myself. Im still stuck emotionally unable to continue with emotions I lost what seems like long ago. I woke up and thought "this is so sad. Why am I not able to feel as I use to? Why cant I replace this hole?" Ive tried so many time to fill the void, but it just gets thrown back out as fast, if not faster, than when it was thrown in. I want to like other people I want to have a normal relationship I want to feel "love" because I dont anymore. It was destroyed. I was so utterly broken I would collapse from the sheer nothingness that I felt. I heaved with sadness and I ripped at my chest to try and get the hurt out. Oh so long ago... but here I still am affected by that. How I long for my ignorance of many years past. I still hold onto the frayed string of hope I will find that disastrous love feeling again because it was so powerful. In the fleeting moments that I was happy, I was free. In the crushing moments I was alone, I was nothing without them. In the moments I found out I was second best, I died.
Do the dead have a second chance? When it comes to feelings, I dont know anymore. Im almost ready to give up.
Sin
All I could ever want is you, all you could ever want is everything else.