I lied

I'm sorry, I lied to you. I can't keep my emotions separated from my physical activities, and for that I'm sorry. I'm no different from any other woman that you've probably been with. I have idiotic thoughts that wonder things about you that you probably don't even think about. I'm wondering if I should end it here and just go on, by myself. If I didn't like you, even a little bit, I wouldn't have put myself into this situation. Parts of me wished that I would have let things be. So now I will refuse to kiss you, though I think about doing so often. I will refuse to touch you in passing because my touch is nothing special and my emotions are way too fragile to continue with fake affection. I don't want to be thrown away... so I will throw you away first. I don't know how many times I can stand to hear you call me baby before I just say "but I'm not your baby. I never have been."
As soon as I'm gone you'll have my replacement ready anyway. I can't do temporary, though I thought I could. So for that I'm sorry, even though you won't care either way and I overthink everything.
Soon, I need to throw you out of my personal life and put you back into the place of indifference inside my head. One or two more times... and then secretly I will be saying goodbye, comrade.