I forgot

I forgot... I forgot how painful love can be. I remember now... I remember and I want to forget again. Why do I always fall for the kind ones that don't know how to tell me like it is? I let them lead me on. I know that they don't feel the same but for the sake of fleeting happiness I let them walk all over me. My heart hurts. My body is sore. I wish I didn't care so damn much!
I'm such a heavy burden to carry. I know that, and I don't want to weigh anyone down. The darkest voice inside of me is talking again. Telling me that... You will never find it. The love you crave doesn't exist. Pain is all you will ever have, girl. Learn your lesson, swallow this pill... You will die alone. The happiness you seek is nothing more than an illusion.
Why do I fall for the wrong ones? Why do I want those that don't want me back? What's wrong with me? What's wrong...with me? Is it because I depend on others too much? Is it because I'm emotional? Is it because I'm repulsive? Is it because I'm broken? Damaged goods? Is it okay to hide my tears, so that you never see my true sadness? Is it okay for you to never know the depths of my mind? Is it okay?
My aching heart, I'm sorry. Let's forget again... this thing..... Love.